It's Still a Feeling
by Betsy86
Summary: Rory's feelings for Jess. S2/3.


**I have no idea where this came from. Inspired by The Pipettes song 'It's not love (but it's still a feeling). Enjoy! :]

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**It's Still a Feeling.**

"'Oliver Twist'." He shouts after her and she turns, a bright smile gracing her face.

This new boy was interesting. Sure he'd stolen her book (but it was returned with new reading material in), and yes, he'd performed a lame magic trick (which was kind of cute), but still, he was interesting.

She knew Stars Hollow wouldn't be the same.

And she's curious. It's not love (but it's still a feeling).

* * *

"You don't." She tells him. "You don't."

And he doesn't. He doesn't know Dean at all. And he is exactly her type of guy (even if he had never heard of Bjork before, but aren't all relationships about giving and taking?). She wishes Jess would just go home.

She lets out a loud sigh, huffing because she's annoyed. It's not love (but it's still a feeling).

* * *

"You owe me an egg roll!" He points at her before walking away.

She glances back at her picture and winces. Whatever Jess has done (and she has a pretty good idea what), she's not that bothered about it. The end of 'The Rory Curtain' is nigh.

She is liberated. It's not love (but it's still a feeling).

* * *

She blushes when he tells her he's glad she called.

She slips back into the easy conversation they had at the bridge (and the book store and over pizza).

Should talking to a boy who's not your boyfriend be this easy? She shakes away the thought, laughing at joke he just made.

She smiles into the phone because she's comfortable. It's not love (but it's still a feeling).

* * *

"I don't mean 'like' like." She stumbles over her words are her cheeks flame red (because she doesn't mean 'like' like).

She is on her way to the Ivy League and her verbal skills would have to be much better than this.

But she's knows he won't staring at her when she's being interviewed. But here and now, she's having trouble stringing a coherent sentence together.

She walks away embarrassed. It's not love (but it's still a feeling).

* * *

She swipes a fry from his plate and gives him a small smile as he rolls his eyes at Paris.

"Hey, I've read Jean Austin." He defends and she lets out a small laugh when he tells Paris he thinks Austen would have liked Bukowski.

Junk food and lit. debate? Not exactly the Friday night she had planned, but she was having fun (even with Paris around).

Taking a sip of coffee she feels relaxed. It's not love (but it's still a feeling).

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"Now open your book."

Why the hell did Luke rope her into this? Jess is smarter than everyone at that school. Why would he waste that? It seemed so pointless to her to squander the only thing that could get him out of town (something he vocalised about doing quite often).

As he beings to click his tongue on the roof of his mouth, she lets out a groan.

She's completely frustrated with him. It's not love (but it's still a feeling).

* * *

Why was this stupid town blaming the whole accident on him? It was an accident.

She knows if Dean or Lane (or anyone else in the entire universe) had been at the wheel, they would be given the benefit of the doubt.

But not Jess. And this stupid cast is only making everything worse.

It's not his fault and all of their sympathy is making her feel guilty. It's not love (but it's still a feeling).

* * *

Why did she come? To New York?

"You didn't say goodbye."

He nods and tells her 'goodbye' like she wanted. She smiles down at him and whispers 'bye' back.

She feels a weight lift off her shoulders. Maybe now she can sleep at night.

She instantly is more at peace. It's not love (but it's still a feeling).

* * *

He shrugs. "Just wanted to."

Her body moves independently of her mind and she finds her lips on his.

She'll never know what caused her to react in such a way (such a rash way) but she knows that kiss was amazing.

She runs back to find her mom and she's never felt so rebellious. It's not love (but it's still a feeling).

* * *

When she sees him pressed up against the blonde, she want scream (or laugh or cry. She's not sure which).

All those hours wasted trying to write him a letter, or working up the courage to call (not that she had, but she had wanted to).

She had hoped (and wished and prayed) she'd have something figured out to say to him. Now it seemed pointless.

She's been completely foolish. It's not love (but it's still a feeling).

* * *

She watches in awe as he turns the sprinklers back on.

He looks good with his hair wet, plastered to his face (not that she was looking, but he was standing right in front of her).

They had been civil. A major step up from the past few weeks. And now he here was helping her avoid (another) fight with Dean.

She is extremely grateful. It's not love (but it's still a feeling).

* * *

"You want to devil egg Jess' car?"

It's stupid, and while she pretends it's all for her mom, she knows with every egg she throws it's about him too.

Lane's right. Why should he have a car after totalling hers? Life really screwed her over here, and the deviled eggs are payback.

She resents him and his car (and the bra in the backseat). It's not love (but it's still a feeling).

* * *

"He was right. About all of it."

She looks up at him from her spot on the bridge. She confirms that she and Dean are definitely over and she watches as he walks away.

She know what the 'something' he has to do is. She smiles to herself and wipes away a stray tear. She knows that the humiliation in the gym was worth it.

And she lets out a sigh of relief. It's not love (but it's still a feeling).

* * *

"Whatever else happens between us, at least we know that part works."

She silently agrees because it does work (much better than it had ever 'worked' with Dean).

She tells him that she has to go and he kisses her again (she feels like she could live on these kisses).

She feels dizzy as she walks away. And certain this is the right choice. It's not love (but it's still a feeling).

* * *

The whole town is watching them. Were they watching her with Dean too, or is it just because Jess is 'dangerous' (he's not, he's actually a sweetheart but she wasn't about to ruin his rep)?

She hides at the market, and gives him a pathetic kiss at dinner, and then suddenly she doesn't care who sees.

She wants to be with him, and she wants everyone else (including Jess) to know that.

So she kisses him. "Later." She calls with an air of nonchalance but she's never felt braver. It's not love (but it's still a feeling).

* * *

She knows that they could easily be hit by bus. But somehow she can't bring herself to care.

Walking around town, her mouth pressed to his is the most exhilarating thing she experienced. They just fit (Dean was far too tall for any such actions).

Her cheeks are stained pink (from both the cold and his ministrations - she agrees it is his best work) and she knows this is what it's like to feel alive. It's not love (but it's still a feeling).

* * *

First he was late. And when does show, he has a black eye. And now he's lying about it. She rushes after him only to have the door slammed in her face and the sound of his car engine fill her ears.

She's mortified when her grandmother puts her arm around her.

She wanted one night, for him to make a good impression on her grandma. And he screwed it up.

The more she thought about it, the angrier she got, and she went to bed seething with him. It's not love (but it's still a feeling).

* * *

She glances at the clock and lets out an audible and frustrated sigh. He still hadn't called.

This was stupid, she should call him. She picks up the phone and begins to punch in his number, but half through loses her nerve, throwing the phone onto her bed.

She puts her head on the desk, on suddenly notices how dirty her keyboard is. She thinks that by cleaning it, it will give him time to ring.

She finishes and there's still no call so she gives up and goes to bed. She's never felt more like a stupid and pathetic teen girl. It's not love (but it's still a feeling).

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"You looked it up." She wraps her arm around his waist and smiles as he kisses her head.

She thinks its the most romantic thing anyone has ever done for her (including building her a car).

She couldn't care less about watching a stupid movie and she feels light and giddy like she'd float away if she didn't hold on to him. It's not love (but it's still a feeling).

* * *

"I don't know what I did." And she doesn't. One minute they were kissing (and she was enjoying it) and the next, things were about to take a big (too big) step forward.

He had to have known she would stop him. So why did he yell at her? He knows her. Or she thought he knew her.

Now she doesn't know much of anything. She feels lost and utterly confused. It's not love (but it's still a feeling).

* * *

They small talk. Fran died. Luke was at the funeral. But she can't bring herself to talk about anything real.

What happened at Kyle's. Is he okay? Why is he on the bus (with a duffel filled to the brim)?

She can't ask because she thinks she knows the answer. And it scares her. It's not love (but it's still a feeling).

* * *

"Jess is gone." She nods and blinks back a tear. She tells her mom she doesn't think he coming back.

But that's not true. In her heart she knows he's not coming back.

She knew it when she told him 'bye' when she got of the bus at Chilton.

She wanted to be wrong (she wanted it desperately) and that he was just going to clear his head (back to New York for a few days?) and then he'd come back ready to talk and take her to prom.

She was wrong and disppointed she'd let herself hope. It's not love (but it's still a feeling).

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"I think I may have loved you."

She sobs when she hangs up the phone. She lied.

She never thought anything. She knew. She knew with everything inside her that she did love him. It was love (but it's only a feeling).

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**Review and let me know what you think.**


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